Regrets
I wish I had done things differently. Why didn’t I? I can’t let this go.
Looking Back
Our minds can be overactive looking for things to ponder, be anxious about or contemplate. Sometimes our minds purposefully look for things that unnerve or upset us, leading us into overthinking and sending us down an unproductive trail. Avoiding overthinking and stopping it in its tracks serves us.
The past is over and the present is the best place to be. Sometimes things in the past hook us. We chose not to do something that we wish we had. We were not aware of all the aspects of a choice we made and they are evident to us now. The choice we made did not serve us. We made a choice hastily and didn’t think it out. We wanted one thing from the choice and got another.
Looking back with regret can harm us. We cannot change what we did, so where does it get us? We deflate ourselves and diminish our self-confidence. We beat up on ourselves gaining nothing. Regrets can hold us back from making choices that serve us. We get lost in regret and do not move forward. Regrets can make us sad and leave us stuck.
➟ Don’t let regrets hold you back and leave you stuck. Let’s do some coaching so you can let them go!
Looking Forward
In contrast, looking forward heartens us. We have some control over what we do and can focus on the results we want. We feel some optimism, because what we want has yet to happen. We can think things out and act accordingly. We can anticipate Openings that await us. The future offers us possibility.
By looking forward, regrets can be translated into insights and learnings to bring with us into the future. They are in their proper place – done and over. Best to move on. Looking forward focuses on what has yet to be created. Sometimes, we have a blank canvas to work with. The future is ours to imagine and create.
Looking forward makes space for optimism. We anticipate our future and the Openings that may appear. We begin to take ourselves in the direction of our dreams. We are in the driver’s seat, in contrast to looking back where the road is long gone. Looking forward allows us to be in motion. Possibilities abound.
Dealing With Regrets
It is truth that we cannot change the past. Regrets must be transformed into information that helps us create a future we can cherish. Here are some ways to deal with regrets that consume us and hold us back.
- Take a good look at each regret we have. With compassion, bring ourselves back to the time we were doing or making choices that we now regret. Who were we? What were the circumstances? In many cases, we find that we made the best choice we could at the time. Our regrets come from hindsight and things we know now that we did not know then.
- Quiet our overthinking and settle into our center so regrets do not take us for a ride.
- Be kind to ourselves and realize that we did the best we could and cannot go back. Create some self-compassion.
- Identify what we can learn from what we did. That brings value to our choices. By experiencing what we did and making choices we grew. We have insights from the experience that we could not have gotten any other way.
- Allow our regrets to inform our future. Make choices accordingly. Release regrets and turn them into them assets in our journey.
- Cultivate optimism for our future. Believe we can make things better and that our past does not inform our present or future. Everything and everyone can change
Staying In the Present Moment
As with many things, being fully in the present moment is the best place to be when dealing with regrets. In the present moment, what we did in the past is over. We have control over what we do in the present and in the future. We have agency and can change our circumstances, as we learn from our pasts.
Regrets lead to self-blame and guilt which get us nowhere and leave us stuck and unable to act in the present. Regret looks back rather than forward. Positive Openings exist only in our present and our future. They are nowhere to be found in our past. Staying in the present moment is our place of power.
By staying in the present moment and looking forward we can allow our past to inform us in a positive way. Life is ever-changing. What existed in the past is no longer here. The present moment offers us possibility and growth. Stay present and regrets will be a thing of the past!
Okay, I will focus on where I am now and where I want to go. I’ll believe in myself and create a future I am proud of.
photo: Adrian Malec, pixabay.com
Coaching for a New Era!
Find out how you can make the most of these times!
Sign Up Today for a Complimentary Call
MORE OPENINGS
Pushing Through Openings
Openings As Endings
Perspective
Archives