When people say “love is the answer” it seems lightweight to me. I’m not sure love can get me where I want to go.

The Role of Love

Love has many aspects: strong affection for another, a warm attachment, affection based on admiration, unselfishness, loyal and benevolent concern for the good of another. Love is both cherished and derided. It is cherished as a positive force that makes us feel good and allows us to make others feel the same. Love is also derided as lightweight or weakness in the face of strength and force and as not having strength or force of its own.

What is the role of love? Let’s explore expanding the role of love in our world and hail its strengths. Barbara Frederickson, a Professor at The University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, studied the possibility of love being a positive force in politics and economics. She answered an interview question about the common understanding of love as romantic attachment in this way:

“Love is both positive emotion and larger than the self. We typically think in western culture of emotions as belonging to a person—being confined to one person’s brain, mind, or skin. Here I’m arguing that actually people co-experience emotions, especially positive ones, and when they do, that’s when they are reminded in an experiential way that they are part of something larger than themselves, that they share a human connection, whether it’s with a person they know well or a stranger. It’s where we experience our common humanity.” (article in Greater Good Magazine, Can Love Change the World, by Michael Edward, 8/19/13)

Love and Fear

Love and fear can be a dance in our lives. They oppose and often cancel out each other, unable to coexist. Someone recently asked if love could overcome fear, the way fear can overcome love. If we open our hearts, fear loses some of its energy. Fear is often based in the past or future. Love can bring us to the present moment, where what we fear is not as potent as it seems when it is linked to the past or future.

There is a classic story about love and fear:

A grandfather is talking with his grandson. The grandfather says, “In life, there are two wolves inside of us which are always at battle. One is a good wolf which represents things like kindness, bravery, and love. The other is a bad wolf which represents things like greed, hatred, and fear”. The grandson stops and thinks about it for a second then he looks up at his grandfather and says, “Grandfather, which one wins?” The grandfather replies, “The one you feed.”

We can only progress in our journeys from a place of love. Love gives us strength and confidence. We cannot progress from a place of fear. Fear is shamelessly promoted in our lives and surroundings. It is a way to manipulate us. Keep us fearful and we will not have the strength and confidence we need to thrive. Holding on to fear diminishes us. Releasing fear liberates us. Love is always there for us.