Raising Children Creates Openings
I often observe parents encountering challenges and blessings as they raise their children. They deal with a myriad of emotions, decisions, fears, joys and adventures. They stretch themselves for the love of their children. Sometimes, I am in awe of what they do.
What Is An Opening?
Readers of this blog know that an Opening is an invitation to go somewhere new. Openings that present themselves to us offer opportunities for growth and transformation.
A parent gives a new human life with no certainty regarding what the child’s disposition or journey will be. The mother carries the child within her body until birth, challenging her in ways no other situation can. Some parents do not give birth. They choose to be parents of a child, thus creating an Opening for their journey.
Having a child in itself is an Opening. It is a call to adventure. It is the start of a transformative journey that asks for courage, resilience, growth, patience, surrender and love. The moment a child is conceived, the parent is forever changed. Their life has a new center. The life of this child demands their focus and attention.
The Journey Of Parenting
As the child is in the womb, parents are anticipating what this change will bring. They may have anticipated the child with all their hearts. They may have been surprised in conceiving the child and are adjusting to their new circumstance. Will it be a good journey? Will something go wrong? They go through nine months preparing and getting ready.
Once a child is born, a family is born as well. It is a new state of being. The activities and perspectives of a family are quite different than those of a couple or a single individual. So much has changed. There is no going back to what was. They begin to adjust their expectations and dreams and anticipate the journey ahead.
As the child grows, so does a parent. They are now guides, protectors and companions for their child. They are faced with hard decisions on how they want their child to grow and thrive in the world. For them, this is a journey of learning, growth, fun, challenge, joy and uncertainty. There are many Openings. It is as much about their growth, as it is about the child’s.
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Children As Guides
A parent’s role is that of a way-shower for their children. But, that’s not the whole story. Think of how the actions, attitudes and perspectives of children can affect a parent, if they are open to them. Each child is a unique human being. They need care but they are becoming an individual in their own right and may have something to say.
If the individuality and self-expression of a child is suppressed, the parent can miss the Openings a child offers them. A child can lead a parent to places they may never have gone on their own. The child is growing up in a world that is quite different than the world the parent grew up in. A parent has the opportunity to take a wonderful journey alongside their child.
How does a parent balance the need to guide their children as they open to a journey together with them? This can be done. The parent’s role as a guide is primary in their relationship with their child. The journey they are taking with their child is one of creating safe spaces for their child’s growth and self- expression, listening and validating their child as a unique human being.
Who We Become
When we relate with a child, so much is possible. The maxim that a child should be seen but not heard cheats us of the Openings that are possible. A parent receives so much when they learn to recognize all they can gain by being open to their child and taking a journey of learning and growth with them. When they embrace this journey, life can be magical.
As a parent grows with a child and guides them in life, they see another’s journey intimately. There are Openings in how their child sees their life, in the experiences the child encounters, in the support and guidance the child needs and in the love and respect that grows between them. The parent changes in positive ways, as the child grows.
The journey of a parent is forever. It can be a rich and fulfilling one if the Openings it presents are recognized and pursued. Both parent and child are changed. Love grows and the child becomes an individual who knows the journey of life. Both parent and child win and the world is better for it.
I haven’t thought before of the Openings a child can make possible. I see it now. As long as we respect and love each child as an individual on a journey, Openings can abound!
photo: andrea lightfoot, unsplash.com
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