The Role Of Surrender In Openings

Surrender? I am trying to empower myself, chart my own path. What good will surrender do?

The Positive Nature Of Surrender

Surrender does not always mean waving a white flag and giving in. It is not your being a victim or even losing. For this post, let’s redefine surrender as a powerful aspect of life. Surrender, in this redefined concept, is analogous to flowing downstream in a river. We move with the flow of the river, not upstream against it.

Surrender acknowledges the present reality of a situation and requires our discernment. We observe whatever is happening and start there. We flow with reality and choose accordingly. We let go of futile resistance to a situation. An important distinction is that surrender is not sacrifice. Sacrifice can harm us by taking away something that we value. It is a loss that goes against our own interests.

Surrender allows us to move forward and deal in the best possible way with whatever is happening. Say, we experience loss of a job. There is nothing to be gained with denial. It happened and is reality. Acceptance allows us to deal with it effectively. We can process the emotions and decide how we want to go forward.

How To Surrender

Surrender can take some getting used to. We have our pictures of how we want our lives to be. Deviation from that is uncomfortable. In our society, safety is a primary goal. Change can jolt us. We are not taught in school how to thrive with change. Resistance to change builds up over a lifetime.

Surrender asks a lot of us, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. We need practice in developing our muscles of surrender. We need to understand that change is part of life – a bigger part than we may want to admit. Surrender involves flowing with change.

Surrender deals with the present moment – what is happening right now – and involves our acceptance, first and foremost. From there, we can do whatever moves us. We can try to change the circumstances that confront us or move on from them in our own best interest. Acceptance of reality does not mean giving up our values, desires or dreams – they are still part of us and we can honor them.

The Power Of Surrender

Power and surrender are not in conflict. They are compatible and feed each other. Surrender allows our lives to unfold in the way they are meant to. We do not control all the circumstances of our lives. Allowing our lives to unfold brings wonderful things. Surrender helps us build our power.

Surrender involves trust – trusting the way life goes and trusting ourselves to deal with it. Self-awareness is a critical element of surrender. There is work to be done to know who we are and what we need. Courage is called for as are emotional intelligence, self-love, optimism and strength.

Here’s an exercise that may be helpful in understanding this concept of surrender.

Think back to a challenging situation in your past or one that is happening in the present moment. Did you or will you surrender to it? Use these guidelines to help determine your answer.

Not surrendering: resistance, denial, anger, fear, not acting, resenting, blame,

Surrendering: acceptance, trust, action, emotionally processing what happened, self-love

If the situation occurred in the past, to what degree did you surrender? (Give this a percentage value.) If in the present, to what degree are you surrendering to it?

What could you have done or do differently to harness the power of surrender?

What hindered your ability to surrender? What supported you in surrendering?

Use your answers to build your powers of surrender for the future.