Embracing Loss

Oh please, embracing loss? I have lost a lot in this pandemic. I stay strong and endure. But embrace it? What reason is there to do so?

Recognizing Loss

Sometimes it takes a while to recognize that we have experienced loss. Other times, loss is acute and jolts us out of our previous reality. In either case, we need to recognize that loss has occurred, before we can begin to deal with it. Perhaps we have lost someone dear to us, work we once did is no longer available or needed or an aspect of our life that we cherished, is no more.

Many times, we shy away from recognizing loss. It is painful and there is a void we do not know how to fill. Recognizing loss allows us to see that what was is now gone. In some cases, we may be able to get it back in another form; in others we cannot. The present moment is the only place we can act from now. We must adjust to change and our new reality.

Once we have recognized loss, we can look straight at it and at ourselves. This recognition can be very challenging. We may not like embracing change, much less loss. We may feel it is easier to avoid loss, pretending it has not happened or falling into a drama of being a victim or letting our anger rise. Only by recognizing loss, however, can we begin to deal with it.

Mourning What Is No Longer There

Recognizing loss is not the whole story. With any loss, we go through a period of mourning. The degree of this mourning varies. It could be quick – good riddance! Or it could take time, bringing us deeply within ourselves to cope with it and eventually rise from it. Mourning is a deeper form of recognition of loss and is a step in embracing it.

Whenever something leaves our lives, a void is created. Within that void, we can recognize and mourn what is gone, quietly acclimate to a new reality and recover from what may have been a shock. This is the natural balance of things. The ocean’s tide goes out and comes back in, over and over again. The sun and moon rise and set each day.

Acceptance that there is an adjustment period for any loss enhances our experience and our ability to start anew. The empty space allows our emotions room to respond in a healthy manner. Our minds get to acclimate to change and recenter. We steady ourselves, acknowledging what is gone and preparing ourselves for what may come.

Looking Around

As mourning completes, we can begin to look around. Our surroundings are new. Some aspects remain the same and others are rather empty. What do we see? In answering this question, we begin to look ahead. We have accepted what is now and can address what is to come. This looking around allows us to move. We have embraced our loss and can proceed.

Looking around enhances our awareness. It engages our senses for the journey that begins after loss. We look ahead and begin to create what we want to fill the space created by loss. We have freedom from attachment to the past, emotional obstacles and resistance. It can be enlivening, as we have a space that is ours to fill, in any way we’d like to.

New visions begin to inhabit us as we look around. This helps us to embrace loss. We don’t have to love the loss we experienced; it is more about acceptance and being fully in the moment. We can release the past, making room for the new to come in. This process of release and emergence are as old as the planet. It is a basic flow to our existence.